Oct.10,2009 So much time, so little results

So, how did I get here, and where am I going? Hmmm.

First a little on where I am going. I am feeling a little hopeless right now. I seem to be stuck, no place to live, no good prospect for being able to afford one in the near future. But, I will keep trying.

I think I want to try hard and develop a writing career. But that will take time, and may never happen, as it doesn't for many aspiring writers. I also would enjoy working in animal/bird conservation in some way. I intend to gradually explore that as an option as well.

If I could manage to do both I'd be happy, I think. I also need to lose weight. Not only for my health, but because it really affects my self-perception and confidence. Once I was working out 5-7 days a week, and running 5 miles several times a week. I've never felt better about myself then I did then.

I really need to get my financial issues resolved. First I really need to apply for some aid. I've been dragging my feet on that- not what I intended, but I guess I am doing it, sub-consciously. I hate needing it, so I guess I am delaying applying for it, which I can't deny is really stupid, as I'm about one small financial blow away from being jobless, homeless, and suicidal.

So, my resolution to myself: Don't get frustrated. Keep working to get out of this situation. It can be overcome. And don't climb a clock tower and start shooting the populace.

How’d I get here? Next time I’ll drag myself through that mess of painful memories.